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Putting the children first in divorce

Virginia parents know the hardships that can come from divorce, which can feel like a devestating blow to a family. Managing aspects of the children's day to day life while one's own life feels as if it is going through a complete overhaul is difficult and can make the frustration and anger towards a spouse feel overwhelming. Yet many parents choose to focus on their children's stability as a way to work through the divorce peacefully.

As the Huffington Post notes, timing the separation and filing so that they disrupt the children's lives as little as possible is one reason the end of summer vacation sees a peak in divorces. When it comes to communicating with the children, it is best if the parents can talk with the kids together and address their questions with honesty, but also with a strong dose of kindness. Focusing on providing the information kids need to understand and feel loved, while leaving out details of animosity, will keep the children feeling safe. Some parents take turns living in the family house with the kids as the details are worked out in an effort to keep their schedules as standard as possible. Putting temporary parenting schedules and child support orders in place to ensure that the kids are taken care of physically and financially can establish boundaries and make sure the transition doesn't mean summer camp goes unpaid. 

As the Washington Post explains, providing an opportunity for the children to have both parents in their lives is the best-case scenario. There are times, however, when this is not safe, and then the immediate need is to protect the children. Filing orders of protection or ensuring that all visitation is supervised, when needed, is essential to making sure the children are safe and cared for.

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